you can’t thwart the amazing hip

it appears that the amazing hip’s arch nemesis, the arthritic hip, has indeed found out his mild mannered (up for debate) alter ego. when you last tuned in, our superhero’s attempt to get to the british isles had been hampered by the untimely cancelation of his flight from chicago to manchester. it turns out that it was not a random occurrence, but part of a larger, much more sinister plot to foil the adventures of our superhero in the british isles. let’s catch back up with the action:
fast forward to friday, sept 15th and terminal three of the manchester airport. no sooner did i arrive and i found out that my 3pm flight was now a 5:25pm flight. no problem, a little delay, but then mild disappointment turned to frustration as we watched 5:25 come and go while the airport support slowly off loaded several of the arthritic hip’s minions from the plane. as we boarded nearly an hour later, the sight of the wheelchair brigade, all wielding scowls and oxygen bottles was almost intimidating enough to keep me from walking up the ladder into the plane.
while the scotland trip was a brilliant piece of holiday, the return back to the states was nearly as challenging as the trip out. upon returning to the states news was sent to me that again, the arthritic hip had struck again, this time using his agents at united airlines. he had somehow canceled my flight, again, and they were attempting to route me through san fransisco. an obvious ambush. so, i foiled their plan and had me placed on a later flight. so, with nine hours in chicago o’hare to kill, i did the only thing that i could think of. i sprung into superhero action.
i spotted a fellow wearing a boston marathon t-shirt, so i walked up to him and congratulated him on his race. i liked the hair of a girl serving me food at one of the concession stands, so i commented on it. a fellow riding the escalator in front of me had a nice, rich purple shirt on, and i told him how much i liked it. while eating some cake at the gate for the flight to paris-degaul, an old frenchman was watching me intently. i offered to share it with him, to which he decline. he continued to watch me intently, so i offered again. he refused. i couldn’t finish it, so i wrapped it in wax paper and offer the rest to him, indicating it was going in the trash if he didn’t. he refused again. i guess those french are just tired of eating cake. i headed to the san diego gate and gave encouraging advice to the recruits waiting there to head to mcrd for bootcamp. i wasn’t about to let the arthritic hip get the best of me, and to mock him, i walked the length of the concourse in slow motion several times.
so, hours later, i landed in lax and headed down to baggage claim, only to find out that the arthritic hip had made an attempt at waylaying my belongings. after a exhaustive search, i finally located my missing bag tucked deep in the bowels of the united airlines baggage office. soon, i was finally in the long term parking lot and headed to the car. happy to be free of the plot against me when out of the 1:30am gloom, i spotted the kayak racks on the roof of the xterra. the roof was tilted at an odd angle. sure enough, the icing on the cake (i swear it was a frenchman that the arthritic hip had sent to do his dirty work), my rear right tire was flat. i fumbled through the tire change, laughing like a madman at the situation.
despite the ridiculous attempts at my sanity and well being, i was finally able to collapse into bed at a reasonable hour of 3:30am. you may have won the battle, arthritic hip, but I will win the war!

11 thoughts on “you can’t thwart the amazing hip

  1. That arthritic hip is just silly. Could have come to San Francisco and then I would have come to the rescue and we would have gone out for something more interesting to eat than cake. Oh well… I’d say ‘next time’ but I hope you never had a trip with screwed up flights like that again. We like our hip amazing, not arthritic.

  2. Oh. My. Goodness!!!!
    It must be GREAT to be home! Yowsahs.
    Glad you’re back, and definitely enjoying these beautiful photos – Thanks for sharing!

  3. Wow, welcome home jeff, hip and all. Glad you persevered and entertained so many people at O’Hare. What a terrific travelogue. Loved the pix and the detailed description of your time with pMo!!

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